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Journal of the College of Psychic Studies
Volume 117 No. 1 Summer 1997. Pages 24 - 26

Allowing A Psychic To Become One

I have often read the content of editions of Light as they made their way to me here in Devon and thought, "I must write something myself based on my own experiences and insights gained". A great list of topics came to mind prompted by the content of other contributors over the years. Notice how "years" comes into the equation. I am always full of good intentions. Having a letter accepted for publication has been the prompt I needed to start this article.

Reading Jenny Grant's article in the last edition spurred me into action when she mentioned how much Elizabeth Farrell has influenced her.

In my work as a teacher and therapist specialising in loss, transition and change - nearly twenty years in the same field - I wish to base my article upon the way in which this extraordinary lady helped me - particularly to enable me to help others.

I first met Elizabeth in 1988. An urgent visit to the College had been suggested by a good friend of mine. When I arrived at the college's temporary address in Kensington I was in a state of complete emotional exhaustion. On writing to the college a few weeks before an appointment had been scheduled for me to meet with the then President, Mrs Brenda Marshall.

I came from a family background of medicine and "hard-science" and up until the age of thirty-one studied the sciences and hung on to them with a fervour which knew no bounds. However, fear prompted me to make contact with the College and attend our meeting on the agreed time and date. I sat in the reception area which doubled as the library as a temporary measure until refurbishment was complete at the Colleges HQ.

In disbelief - what was I doing at a place like this? - I managed to pull myself together and take in some of my surroundings. I was immediately drawn to the bookshelves and assured that this was a place of learning. Too soon my thoughts returned to my fear. Would these people try to probe my confused mind? Would they try to put bizarre or pseudo-religious thoughts into my head? I knew in the midst of my confusion that I was terribly vulnerable and as yet not reassured as to my safety.

Two months before my initial journey to a meeting with Mrs Marshall at the College my grandmother had died. Her death was sudden, from a heart attack. I was with her at the time, by sheer coincidence? She and I were very close -"like Tweedledum and Tweedledee", many friends would say. We knew each other's thoughts and, yes, you guessed it, she was a medium. Never trained, and in fact she looked with disdain on the subject; but countless stories in the family corroborate her abilities. Three weeks before her death, while she was in a state of blissful health; we sat and drank tea until the early hours of the morning. She told me she was tired now of life and that she wished to be with her husband who had been dead for some twenty-two years. She told me how she

"liked the man I had grown into"

and she explained the fact that she recognised how I no longer needed her. I replied that she was right.

Years later, as I reflect, I always see her as my "sentinel" - someone who looked over and protected not only me but the true gift that I was given as a child. That night we thanked each other for what we had shared during this life. We prepared all the details of her funeral and she counselled me on what I would need after her death. Much was spoken about. Many tears were shed as we realised what that parting would be like for me. She was going forward to be with the man she loved. I would have to listen to her words in my mind after she had made that journey to find consolation in the isolation I would feel.

Seven weeks after her death, during which time I had no feeling of her presence others would suggest when they visited her home, I had a dream. I had returned to her home to start clearing out personal items. But I knew I had taken time off work to complete the task of grieving. On retiring for the night, in my sleep I heard a young girl's voice calling my name. Initially I listened quietly and then in curiosity replied,


As though this voice prompted me to wake in my dream, I opened my eyes and saw my grandmother sitting in front of me. A woman sat to her left, upright, frowning and almost severe as well as manner. Grandma was animated, smiling, and eager to talk. My mind was initially confused but this soon subsided as we engaged in our old banter. I needed to ask questions:

"What do you want to know, Stevie? "she replied.

I recalled her lifeless body before the undertakers came to take her to the hospital for the post-mortem. She hadn't been breathing then -

"How did you do that?" No, rather, where have you been grandma?"

"Resting" came the reply.

My mind returned to practical issues. Where was she going to sleep?
I had turned out all the rooms. Clothes were now ceremoniously gathered in neat black bags, stored ready for disposal in the cellar.

"Are you going to stay?"

"Oh no!" came the reply.

I felt hurt, rejected and a little angry. Clearly wherever she had been resting had made a major impression - providing something better than I had to offer!

This dialogue continued for almost ten minutes with the woman in blue occasionally, often rudely, interjecting. Tiredness suddenly overcame me and I stated that I had to go.

"Bye, bye, Stevie," she replied.

On waking from this dream, I met my mother a few days later and I recounted the details of my experience to mother, a true sceptic. Tearfully she listened to the story of my encounter with her mother. Rather than being dismissive of the event, she prompted me to continue, periodically asking for more detail - particularly of the lady who accompanied my grandmother. Proof came from my then closest sceptic when my mother, on reviewing the details I had given, told me that I had described - in considerable detail - Grandmothers mother.

The following week, after this initiation, my personal world rapidly began to fall apart. Tiredness which meant that I was finally only able to stay awake for a few hours each day; physical symptoms of glands enlarging in my body; a rapid deterioration in health to the degree where friends and family noted how I had aged ten years. All this as well as profound lack of concentration and periodic trance states which would last up to half an hour. This condition was now the shape of my world. All the periodic experiences of my "strange" childhood became consistently present and took over the reality of now. I would listen to others conversation, except no one was physically present in the room. I saw colours. I regularly mixed dreams of sleep with the dreams of waking.

Physical symptoms persisted to the level where I sought an urgent consultation with my GP.

Recognising physical symptoms in me, but without any demonstrable cause, made the doctor suggest I should have blood tests before any treatment was decided upon. After my initial consultation, I was to return a week later for blood results and the way forwards. In completeness, for the Virgo obsessionality is always there no matter what, I met with a psychiatrist friend to ask if was losing my mind. Fifteen minutes later I was told I was not schizophrenic - No! - well, there's another safe haven lost!

On returning for the next GP consultation, another was scheduled as the blood tests proved negative. I thanked him, left the surgery and wrote my initial letter to the College.

My meeting with Mrs Marshall led to me being referred to Elizabeth.

Two weeks later I made another journey to the College. While waiting for my appointment, I heard the previous client schedule another appointment for the very next day. He had travelled from America for a few days to see Elizabeth - I felt really intimidated and yet secretly impressed by this medium and the College.

On entering the room I found it to be nothing like what I had anticipated. Elizabeth appeared calm and serene, no darkened room. Instead, light airiness and a freshness in her welcome as I sat down and prepared to tell my disjointed story.

Fumbling my words and not knowing where to start, I found that Elizabeth encouraged me just to talk. She had at once informed me that I had not come to her for a reading: I was quite capable of that myself, as she stated categorically. No, I know I had met with her for a desperate reason - my sanity. Soon, as we spoke and she responded with shared images, colours and pictures, I realised that I had not been alone in my thoughts and feelings all these years.

Since the age of four, and with my grandmother's protection and encouragement, I had taken these experiences of people; sounds, colours and images, to be quite natural. At grandmother's death, she had stopped regulating this ability. My contact with her that night had almost been an encouragement and endorsement from beyond the grave for me now to embrace what we had always shared.

Elisabeth quickly picked up the fact that grandmother and I have been so close, emotionally as well as physically at her death, and this, combined with the emotional shock, created a psychic vortex where I could not resist or stabilise myself. As grandma left, I had travelled with her - simply when I did return, the unnatural event meant that I was out of alignment between the physical and the etheric.

Elizabeth's simple exercises - but more importantly a deep soul connection and resultant encouragement - left me to pursue my own path of psychic development.

For two or three years I began to read more - and to follow articles in Light and attend a few lectures. Confidence gradually grew and I used my teaching as a format to experiment. Many people particularly in the caring professions, readily understood what I had to say of the psychic world around and within us. Met with this further encouragement, my work with clients who came for counselling changed.

Cancer patients understood our unspoken language, referring to the world of "spirit" as it equates to each individual in their own meaningful way. The dying, the bereaved and the desperate through loss - I sit with them and encourage them to tell me what it is that they know. Asking and then, importantly, listening is often all that they need. I am helped directly by Guides - friends towards whom I realise I owe a firm allegiance.

The past three years have seen me offer readings which demonstrate such accuracy that they even still surprise me. My practice has gradually changed to include psychic reading and energy work combined with counselling. In addition a workshop series I began in counselling, and using psychic energy, had provided positive benefits for me in relation to my future career as well as giving people who attend the workshops a sound foundation for future life events.

Here is my letter to you Elizabeth - and I have chosen a more public forum to say thank you for that so important meeting.







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